Sunday, August 30, 2009

On being a Dominant - Master SG

The responsibility of being a Master can sometimes weigh heavy on me - but then so it should. In essence, I see it as a privilege that a woman as intelligent, sexy and caring as pup made the informed decision to submit to me. Her obeisance was her choice alone. On the basis of scant evidence, she judged - with some less-than-happy experiences still fresh in her mind - that I was a good enough prospect on which to take a chance. Every day I thank my lucky stars that she did, so I dare not betray the trust that she has placed in me.

I made a couple of rash errors during intense scenes early on in our relationship, largely where I've overestimated both my own Domming abilities and the elasticity of pup's limits. It's all very well pushing your sub to the brink, but when it could lead to mental or physical harm if they go over that brink (literally, in one of those two cases), you risk ruining the most important thing in any relationship, let alone a BDSM one: trust.

I'd like to think that I've learnt from these two incidents (touch wood). I will tend to approach a scene with a worst-case scenario in mind. If this means that I turn into a job's-worth health and safety manager, so be it - just hand me a clipboard, a hard hat and a fluorescent tabard. But I'd say we're pretty adventurous. For instance, we have indulged in mild edge play (if that's not an oxymoron). We both find stuff like breath control and noose play an adrenaline rush, but we're only too aware of the dangers and I will always, always, always be on a heightened state of alert and err on the side of caution.

I'm not a natural sadist, but I have learnt to enjoy giving pup a whipping. It's more that I've realised how much she enjoys pain and I've become slightly more adept at giving her the stripes when I desire. Ironically, while pup feels extremely subbie when I zip a hood over her head, then I wear my own balaclava-style latex hood I feel more free to adopt a Domly persona and be rougher with her. Go figure! Up until very recently, she has had a bit of a problem seeing me as the "masked abductor", but pup's latest post about wearing my inflatable hood proves that she has come an enormous way and I am so very proud of her.

pup does want and need to be pushed - there's no doubt about it. I think she needs a CPD (corporal punishment development) plan, don't you? ;-) But seriously, I do recognise that we both need to evolve and, in so doing, strengthen our bond - no pun intended. I know there are Domly things that don't come naturally to me that I should work on and give more consideration.

pup needs to feel submissive for more than just the few precious hours a week that we're playing, which I appreciate totally. She requires that all-round feeling of being owned, which is pretty hard to achieve at the moment. But I am too laid-back a personality to constantly think, speak and act like a Dominant. I acknowledge that this will probably remain an issue to a greater or lesser extent. When it comes down to it, I'm too content with my life (touch wood again) to always feel the need to exert my power over another. And, what's more, there's a lot more to both our lives than BDSM. The vicissitudes of vanilla life tend to be too intrusive to be ignored for long.

Don't get me wrong: I absolutely LOVE domming pup. A good scene is such a turn-on. I get a huge sense of satisfaction when I've given her exactly what she needs and she's lying exhausted and exhilarated in my arms after a real working over, culminating in a shattering orgasm. It can be huge fun for me to sketch out (maybe over the preceding week or more) what I'm going to do with her, especially if I've bought another new piece of kit for us to try. But I'd be a liar if I said every scene goes like that. Sometimes I feel too tired - perhaps lacking energy after a hard week at work - to adopt the role convincingly. Any lack of effort or conviction on my part will show up pretty quickly, and I hate to disappoint pup if I, for instance, fall asleep before we get a chance to play. And here's the heavy weight of responsibility again that I mentioned at the start: while the sub experiences pain, discomfort and humiliation, the pressure is definitely on the Dom to give her the tough time she desires - to produce the goods, to make the plays, to call the shots etc, etc - you get the picture.

In that way, I'd argue it's harder to be the Master. This is why I ask pup to switch once in a blue moon (which, as we all know, is every six months). I don't ask her to go beyond our comfort zones and start going all Chanta Rose on my ass. I'm just asking her to be my assistant. I do it partly to test out a new piece of kit - perhaps it's something she's not sure about and needs to see how it works - and partly to assuage my curiosity about how it feels to be restrained in, say, the inflatable sleepsack (awesome, if you're wondering). I enjoy these rare diversions from the norm, because the duty of care is no longer mine. I can lie back and enjoy the ride - although I normally end up topping from the bottom! I think it shows pup what has to go through the mind of the Dom when they are in the position of full responsibility.

I hope none of this sounds like I'm complaining - far from it. I don't think I've been happier in my life. We have worked to get to a position of strength and I want things to get stronger. As with many things, you get out what you put into a relationship. If that's sometimes an effort, it's an effort worth making.


Thursday, August 27, 2009

HNT - Kubbed & Chained

As well as being my latest HNT contribution, this is also my 100th post of this year. Woo hoo!

i hope it counts as 'half-nekkid'. As i remember, SG's adornment with chains, nipple clips, Kub and leather cuffs covered about half of my body:

And wow... did it feel good!

Here's the rear view, after SG gave my bottom some colour from His belt, the flogger and His hand, and before He gave me a good hard fucking - doggy style, of course:


Monday, August 24, 2009

More Chains

As you didn't seem to like my last post very much (did it freak you out too much?), i thought i'd share a few more of my chain photos relating to my recent HNT post:

There are a couple more photos to come... after SG took inspiration from what He saw. As part of a recent scene, He placed me in chains again before He had his way with me. And it felt delicious!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009


i was overcome with emotion at what i had just achieved. my head and body were buzzing. It all felt so surreal and i couldn't believe i'd done it.

It was the latest challenge SG had set for me - i mentioned it on the blog a few posts back. The next time i played i had to try and wear SG's 'scary' inflatable hood. Even if it was for just a few seconds. SG has been training me prior to this moment with the newly acquired penis gag and His other breath control hood. He's a clever Dom. Strangely enough, i had been able to cope with that hood, even though He told me it was the toughest one of the three that He owns. So this inflatable hood is really a combination of them. i think it scares me because it also inflates. It has 2 valves but i don't think i'll ever be able to wear it inflated.

i took a hot bath and shaved myself smooth - that always gets me horny. The thought of using my largest butt plug inside my pussy again (it is way too big for anal) was also propelling my excitement. To feel it filling me up and sliding in and out is really satisfying when i'm flying solo.

After drying myself off, i prepared the scene. Large butt plug (covered with condom) on bedside table, the hood laid next to me on the bed and my smaller butt plug about to be slid into my asshole. That's a sure fire way to increase my juices. i guessed the extra feeling of something in my ass might take my mind off the hood. i lay down on the bed and my hands took hold of the hood. i took a few moments to familiarise myself with it. It has a breathable mouthpiece and see-through plastic eye holes, but no nose holes. It's still a scary thing for me but i wanted to conquer my fear.

It was time. i held the hood up and began to place it over my head. It fitted v snugly and i made sure i had my mouth against the mouthpiece. i slowly pulled down the back zip. The latex began to squeeze at my face. i breathed normally and told myself i was fine. But then the zip got caught in my hair just over halfway and for a few secs it seemed to be stuck. Panic crept in as it wasn't possible to just pull the hood off. i visualised being trapped inside it with no means of help until much later as SG was not home. i hurriedly fumbled with the zip and then it began to move again. i drew it upwards and quickly pulled the hood off and lay there wondering if i should try again. i knew i had to or else this panic would set in each time i wore a hood.

i started again and felt the hood close in on my face again, just a little, but i knew i could cope. With the zip fully engaged, the hood was now tight against my skin. It actually felt good. i reached for the large butt plug and slowly began to push it inside my pussy. I was so horny by this point. The plug felt so good and i relaxed into it. my breath quickened with each push. i could feel myself near the edge already. i knew it wasn't going to take long. It only took about 10 minutes in total. my orgasm flowed over me - a nice comforting medium strength climax. i lay there for a few seconds to enjoy the sensation and the relief that had spread through me. Then it was time to remove the hood.

As I pulled it off, cool air hit my face and i took several long deep breaths. The exhilaration of what i'd just achieved overtook me and i couldn't stop smiling. i was overcome and it felt incredible. i knew that SG was going to be pleased. His pup had pushed herself to her limit and won.

i managed to carry out scene again at the weekend for SG. This time He tied me spread-eagled to the bed and then told me He was going to make me come constantly, whilst He used both my pink vibe inside my pussy and the Hitachi wand against my clit. He said He wasn't going to stop until He decided. He set to work and it must have lasted about half an hour. It was complete pleasure and torment at the same time. my breath was slightly inflating the hood, but i didn't really care. my mind was focused on climaxing, time after time. i must have had about 8 or more orgasms - and all whilst wearing the inflatable hood. i could have safe worded at any point, but i didn't. SG was ecstatic at how much i endured and had nothing but praise for me. i felt a very satisfied and exhausted pup.

This is the photo SG took as He carried out His fiendish task. One that i never thought i would ever have taken of me. It's rather surreal to look at, but i am so proud to share it with you:

i look so blissed out!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Feeling The Vibe

my good blogger friend, this girl forwarded me the advert below and said she had thought of me... bless!

Apparently, it seems i am now endorsing vibes on Extreme Restraints... i'm loving the coupon code!

Strict Trinity - mmm.... it has quite a buzz to it, don't you think? ;-)

Thursday, August 13, 2009

HNT - Steeling The Moment

The cold steel fact of the matter is that this HNT was created with someone in mind... they put an idea in my head and i got creative.

i won't say who it is, but it's not too hard to work it out. i hope You enjoy!

Collared, cuffed, chained and Kubbed:

So you get the whole picture/body, i decided to post two images.
i do love my chains.


Saturday, August 08, 2009


It's the middle of Saturday afternoon. i know i'm stating the obvious, but it's always been one of my horniest times and i have no idea why. Before i met SG, i was free to 'dabble down below', so to speak, whenever i wished, and it became a pattern that i always had the need to get myself off on a Saturday afternoon.

i'm not seeing SG this weekend (boo hoo) BUT all is good - before you begin to question what's going on. We're just spending this weekend apart (a very rare thing) and He has given me 2 free plays! He has told me if i use them up and i want more, i have to ask and He'll think about it. So i've decided to discipline myself (somehow!). As much as i really want to go and give myself some pleasure right now, i've decided to write a post first, about a session i experienced a few weekends ago. i have been meaning to write about it for ages. It's not a very descriptive post either (i'll see how i go) - i think the photos tell the story so much better.

Anyway, the session took place on a Sunday afternoon and SG had decided that i needed to experience more of the leather sleepsack. He wanted to 'take me deep' - to make me feel my submission so utterly deeply and intensely. The sleepsack was a considered purchase and i know how much He loves encasing me inside it. It's certainly not something i can wriggle out of. It covers the whole body and when i'm in it i do feel very comforted, but so very submissive.

The scene began. Firstly, as I knelt naked before Him, He placed the leather hood on me and tightly laced up the back. Over the top of this, He strapped on my latest head harness - completely encasing my head. The combination of the two feels awesome and it makes me feel quite subbie. The sleepsack was laid out on the bed and He said 'you know what to do' and waited for me to slide my legs and feet down into the garment, then place my arms into the internal sleeves (there is no escape!) and witness the leather envelop my shoulders.

SG then delighted in zipping the whole thing up (it zips in two parts, so the crotch area is open for easy access), and tightened up the leather straps that run up the body. It's when He is in the process of doing this, that it dawns on me that He really does have total control of me - physically and mentally - i am completely in His care and His trust. It's quite a feeling, i have to say, just to experience the sleepsack, but don't forget, this time i was also adorned with the headgear. Almost every inch of my body was covered in leather - that was, apart from my eyes and mouth.

But, of course, SG then applied the blindfold, throwing me into complete darkness, coupled with the totally restrictive position i had been placed in. The last piece of the jigsaw was the penis gag and i was feeling a little anxious, because it meant i was about to give up everything - including the space in my mouth. i could feel Him feeding the gag in and i managed to take it all in. He had not inflated it, thankfully, so i was grateful for that. i had to remember to breathe through the breathing tube too and that is not easy. i was breathing pretty fast at that point with the rush of adrenalin and realisation of my total submersion in my 'leather prison'.

Somewhere from all of that, the calmness took over and i started to breathe more slowly and began to revel in letting go completely. my head was floating and i became very spaced out. As i am writing this, i can almost put myself right back in that moment. It was just so incredibly intense.

What i remember after is quite fuzzy but i was aware that SG began to stroke and tease my nipples. It seemed that every sensation from that moment on was heightened x 10 and i could feel my pussy aching to be touched. i think He had placed a vibrating bullet on my clit (you can see part of it in the photo below) and that felt glorious. Every now and then, i would feel the air in the breathing tube reduce slightly, as He put his finger over the end of it. When He did this, i would instinctively try to pull the tube away to get the air back. SG certainly does like to provoke and add new dimensions to scenes. This was no exception, as then i also felt (and heard) a plastic bag being attached to the tube's end. It was only for a few moments, but again it restricted the air flow. At the time, i couldn't work out what He had concocted until afterwards when He showed me the video He took of this part of the scene. There was this clear plastic bag inflating and deflating with my breath. It was quite surreal to watch.

i then felt a pull on my nipple as He attached the tweezer clip to it, before following suit with the other. It's such an awesome thing - having the use of only one of your senses, i.e. touch. Well, i guess there was taste too, if you like rubber! At one point, i felt the hiss of a pump and could only imagine that He was about to inflate the penis gag. my body began to tense up a little and a flash of panic went through my mind. For a few seconds, i wanted to fight it all, to be released there and then from all of the intensity. i felt the gag in my mouth with my tongue, but it didn't seem to have become any larger. i found out afterwards that SG had not had the pump attached, it was all just a mind fuck.

i think the whole scene lasted for over an hour or even two, i'm not sure. It was certainly one of the most intensive experiences i've been put through to date. i have never felt so helpless before or so spaced out. It lasted a long while after SG released me and cradled me closely in His arms.

What i do remember clearly, as He stroked my hair, is that He told me i was His submissive... forever.

In that moment, a great warmth encased my heart.

PS. Can i go and play now? Oh... there's just one condition to this - i have to try and wear SG's (scarier) inflatible latex hood as i play. It's the one hood i've yet to overcome and has been a limit for me. i only have to wear it for a few moments, seconds even, if it gets too much to 'go all the way in'. Wish me luck...

Thursday, August 06, 2009

HNT - Bedtime

i was almost struggling to find another 'proper' HNT photo to post this week. The most recent photos taken by SG show me either completely encased (in rubber) or naked... i do hope to share these with you soon (and no, i don't mean the latter!).

So for now, this will have to do... pup ready for her bed:


PS. i know i promised a celebration video, but Blogger wouldn't let me!

Monday, August 03, 2009


You hold the key to my padlock.

You unlock my happiness and free my spirit.

You bind my soul to Yours.

You hold the key to my heart.

i am Yours forever.