Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Wake me Up When September Ends

It's been one hell of a month - a rollercoaster ride full of ups and downs, so this song title, which happens to be a fab rockin' track by Green Day, seems so very appropriate right now.

i'll be under my duvet if you need me...

... but if you really need me, let me know...

At Your Disposal

Tie my bonds tighter...
Leave rope marks that will last...
Spread my legs wider with the bar...
Tease and torment me...
Stroke and strike my flesh...
Watch the expressions on my face...
As i feel my pleasure building...
And know i am about to explode...

Tuesday, September 25, 2007


my bottom has healed... the marks have disappeared as if they were never there... isn't the human body amazing?

Saturday, September 22, 2007

This Woman's Work

Pray God you can cope.
i stand outside this woman's work,
This woman's world.
Ooh, it's hard on the man,
Now his part is over.
Now starts the craft of the father.

i know you have a little life in you yet.
i know you have a lot of strength left.
i know you have a little life in you yet.
i know you have a lot of strength left.

i should be crying, but i just can't let it show.
i should be hoping, but i can't stop thinking

Of all the things i should've said,
That i never said.
All the things we should've done,
That we never did.
All the things I should've given,
But i didn't.

Oh, darling, make it go,
Make it go away.

Give me these moments back.
Give them back to me.
Give me that little kiss.
Give me your hand.

(i know you have a little life in you yet.
i know you have a lot of strength left.
i know you have a little life in you yet.
i know you have a lot of strength left.)

i should be crying, but i just can't let it show.
i should be hoping, but i can't stop thinking

Of all the things we should've said,
That were never said.
All the things we should've done,
That we never did.
All the things that you needed from me.
All the things that you wanted for me.
All the things that i should've given,
But i didn't.

Oh, darling, make it go away.
Just make it go away now.

Lyrics by Kate Bush

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

On The Edge

On the edge of pain, on the edge of pleasure,
it's an exquisite blend of sensations,
and i'm there because of You.

Holding me close to ease the torment,
releasing me as i cum for You,
watching me fly as subspace takes over,
You keep me on the edge.

Sunday, September 16, 2007


i wanted to share another picture from the 'Thrashed' weekend. Along with the marks to my bottom, this is just above my left hip, which i believe was the result of a lot of squirming and His cane. His target is usually my bottom cheeks but as you can imagine, with all my movement, i received this too.

For whatever reason and i'm really not sure why, it's become one of my favourite images. i've been tracing my finger over this mark all week and even now, as it slowly fades, i haven't stopped looking at it.

So here it is immortalised:

Thursday, September 13, 2007


Firstly, i have to say thank you to my friends for comments to the pre-play post, am not sure if it really saved me from much, as He was in "thrashing mood" anyway, but special thanks goes to Dark Pixie who was there with the first comment!

So the night continued... a few experiences i want to share:

Still in the hallway and wearing jeans (as instructed), He undid my belt and pulled it sharply from my waist. Folding it over in His hand and smiling, He began to slap it against His hand, getting harder each time which made me wince a little. He said He liked the sound it made. i knew what was to come and the thought of being hit by my own belt was rather a strange and curious feeling. i have a thing for belts, just can't explain why. Making me bend over, He ran His fingers sharply down my back and told me He had been growing his nails. It was an incredibly hard pain and i winced each time He 'clawed' at me. Then He undid my jeans and let them drop to my ankles. He gave me a few strokes of the belt fairly hard to warm my cheeks.

Whilst still bent over, He placed the belt along my back, telling me not to let it fall to the floor, else He would use it on me again harder. From behind, He reached inside my panties to check my already wet pussy. His fingers made me melt and i felt myself swaying, just before hearing the "clink" of the belt as it fell to the floor. He asked me to pick it up and pass it to Him, before He gave a few more swipes. That was just the warm-up...

He warmed my cheeks further with His hands, through my jeans, by having me kneel on a chair with my hands on the floor, a very vulnerable position to be in and one which He had great delight in telling me so. Sitting back in the chair, He placed the belt around my neck, pulled it so tightly that i could hardly catch my breath and held it there before slapping my face. The feeling of something around my neck is a very powerful one and it makes me feel very submissive. He could tell, as He asked me "you like that, don't you? I can tell how you enjoy this control". All i could do was nod as He kept the belt tight on my neck. He certainly felt very much in control, as He then pulled me up from the chair and lead me into His bedroom.

Blindfold time again and the fear that comes with it, of having no sense of what is coming next. It's such an intense thing. He had told me earlier it was going to be a night of lighter toys which would be given in faster strokes. To begin with He gave me 50 hand slaps, making me count each one out loud backwards, as well as saying "Thank You Sir" for every one. His slaps got progressively quicker but somehow i managed to keep up. i had impressed Him for now...

The next toy He used was to be the cane, which He told me i was to receive 30 strokes in total, but would be given 5 at a time, in different positions. He said "you will count backwards, with each 5 counted out loud." Each batch of 5 became progressively stingier, as He made me change to different positions, but He allowed me to use the Hitachi wand in between to help the pain dissipate into pleasure. i remember pressing it against my pussy harder and harder with the increasing number of strokes to melt the pain away. He gave me an additional 2 strokes for all the squirming!

Before the final 5, He mentioned He had lit a candle earlier (not that i'd been able to tell from the blindfold). He poured hot wax down my bottom cheeks and tops of my thighs, accompanied by the screaming pain that coursed through me for a few seconds. It was then time for Him to flick the wax off with the last cane strokes, which He seemed to delight in, showering my body with flakes of hardened wax (which i was still picking off my body the next day).

There were several other implements He used on me, one of which i know (since He showed me afterwards) to be a spatula (well He is a chef!) and it was rather painful! i also recall Him placing nipple clips on me, something i have never really experienced before and their gradual pulling sensation only increased the wetness of my pussy. Along with these were some rather intriguing suction cups which He placed at various points on my back and told me to keep very still. They felt really strange as they pulled my skin at different points of my back, but it felt a good sensation. Through most of this time, He kept the belt around my neck, reminding me of His control.

From all of this, along with the moment when one of the nipple clips spun off (or He pulled it off, i'm not sure which, but it hurt like fuck!), He rewarded me with lots of hugs and caresses, followed by the Hitachi and His fingers delving into my ass and pussy. Reaching in deep to locate my g-spot, He brought me to the edge and over it with several tingling orgasms. It was an extremely pleasurable end to the night (thank You again Gavin!).

He teased me that i would be woken in the morning with some bottom slapping, but He (thankfully) changed His mind as i was pretty sore and took mercy on me. Instead He soothed cream into my reddened bottom, but not before writing this along my leg, which He seems to enjoy calling me (and i admit to rather liking it too). A caring Dom is there somewhere inside... never far away.

Again i have to say (sorry if i am getting repetitive!) that it is all rather surreal to think back and realise all what i have experienced so far and how limits are able to be stretched in time. i have gone through so much more than i thought i could already. i know it has only been a very short while and some of You who read my blog (and i do so thank Y/you A/all) are probably surprised, even a little shocked, at the intensity of my play. There are some images i have not wanted to share for good reason - that's my prerogative and it's my blog. For me, it's a journey of exploration, curiosity, excitement, fear and happiness, along with so many other feelings i'm sure. For now, i can say that i am enjoying the path that i am on.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Private Eyes

Before i post the latest weekend's news (yes it's coming!), i have decided, with some regret, to make my blog available to invited readers only (my dearest friends!).

It's not something i wanted to do, but a recent event has more or less forced me to do this. Without going into more details, i hope Y/you can understand and continue to enjoy all that Y/you read here, as much as i love writing for it.

It's nice to have Y/your company. Can i just have a few hugs too please...?


Saturday, September 08, 2007

The Story So Far...

Before entering His flat, He sends me the following instruction:

"I require you to touch your pussy for 5 mins once you have parked your car outside My flat. I will be watching you..."

Doing as i was told albeit feeling somewhat self-conscious, i kept looking around to see if anyone else was about. i saw Him standing at His flat window observing. Carrying out His instruction, the next one was to be at His front door within 1 minute. i ran from the car to make it in time. Walking up the infamous stairs to His flat tonight, seeing the door ajar, took me right back to my feelings of last weekend and they all descended upon me again.

Standing in His hall, He observes me and asks how my pussy is, before taking my wet finger into His mouth and sucking on it. i couldn't stop smiling.

Well i have about 30 or so seconds to post what i've written, so more later...!

Seconds Out, Round Three...

Date: Saturday 8 September 2007
Time: 7pm
Venue: His residence
Agenda: His Own

Can you hear a bell ringing....?

This is just a forewarning, in case i need your help again... nobody leave town! ;-)


i crept over to check Beau's blog (He's back - finally!) and was delighted to see His latest post, a very erotic image of Maggie Gyllenhaal! Phew how HOT is that?! i absolutely loved her in Secretary (recommended viewing!) and as the new face for Agent Provocateur, it seems the perfect move for her. She has such class and an air about her. So i felt the need to post another delicious photo of her here, although i have to say my favourite so far is the one Beau posted!

Monday, September 03, 2007

Somewhere A Clock Is Ticking

His further instructions were sent via text later on Saturday, which were:

"On your arrival into My flat, providing you are on time, you will close the door and stand in front of the mirror and place your blindfold on yourself. you will then await further instruction. Once your blindfold is on securely, you will place your hands on your head whilst waiting for Me. During all this time you are not permitted to speak until I break your vow of silence."

It was 3.57pm as i made my way up the stairs to His flat. As i stood just a few feet away, i could see the door ajar, ready for me to enter. But not before 4pm and within 30 seconds of it, else i would receive a dragon caning in an instant. From somewhere inside the flat, i could hear the loud ticking of a clock. With my heart racing, my phone in hand constantly checking the time, it was 3.59pm... and then He sent another text:

"When you think it is 4pm, you may walk straight in, close the door and continue your instructions". i managed to read it just before it turned 4pm. i counted to about 5 in my head to (hopefully!) cover myself, certainly not wanting to leave it any longer. i walked into the flat and followed His instructions.

Standing in front of the mirror, blindfolded, hands on my head, i could feel myself quivering, my breath quickened ever more, my heart rate had gone through the roof. Chill-out music began playing in the living room. i wondered how long He might leave me there, how would He begin things, was He watching me already? my mind was all over the place and i tried to stop thinking so much.

A few minutes later and i suddenly felt something brush my right elbow, ever so lightly as if i hadn't felt it. i didn't flinch but caught my breath as i knew "this is it...". Another brush to my left elbow, then gradually randomly touching other parts of my body. my pussy was getting increasingly wet, especially as He had told me not to wear any panties. It was a first for me to go out without wearing any and on the journey from home, using public transport, i felt rather vulnerable. At times i thought everyone could tell just by the look on my face. He told me He was impressed with my time-keeping and the fact that i had escaped any canings... well for now at least... He mocked.

He walked around me to check my attire, ticking off one by one the items He had asked me to wear. He liked my new shoes (though i had said they had 3.5 inch heel but i didn't know for sure) and He actually went to get a tape measure to check... and i was wrong. He "let me off" because He liked them so much. Lifting my skirt to view my stockings and suspender belt, He spanked my cheeks and ran His finger across my pussy. Pleased to see how wet i was already, He placed it against my mouth and told me to lick it off. He reminded me that He could either be gentle or forceful with me, that it was up to Him and He would decide. Pushing me against a wall with my face pressed to it and kicking my feet apart to spread my legs, He pressed up close to me. i was shaking and pretty scared by now. Lifting up my skirt, He held me against the wall with one hand and spanked me a few more times.

That was just the beginning and kept blindfolded through most of it, the evening became another incredible mix of pain, torment, fear and pleasure. From more spankings over His knee, He made me cum again as He fingered both my ass and pussy which was an amazing sensation of pleasure.

Bending over a table He delighted in assaulting my already rosy bottom, with his belt, whips and canes, including the dragon, intertwined with the wonderfully teasing hitachi wand... the delicious torment continued and i even cried for Him. i don't know where they came from, but at one point, tears were suddenly taking me over. They gave me such a sweet release, it was quite surreal. At the time i felt silly for doing so, before He wrapped His arms around me and held me close and made things feel alright.

So enough details, these pictures should help in using your imagination:

In the middle of O/our play, He got me to write the previous post and thought it would make it more fun by adding in the 'leave a comment... or else' element. After some more play (as well as not telling me what the time was), He told me W/we should check to see how many comments i had received... i sat in dismay at not getting any! (thanks guys!). He was then able to goad me about caning me awake in the morning and how much He would look forward to it... i was dreading it.

In the morning, He gently stirred me from my sleep with some playful teasing of my pussy, before warming my bottom up with some spanking, which then only lead to one more thing... a dragon caning of 6 strokes. There was to be some pleasure added in though, as He made me hold the hitachi wand with attachment inside my pussy first. He also told me if i wanted to cum, i had to ask Him for permission. Somehow (but am not sure how), i made it to 6 strokes and my bottom was pretty damn sore. Then i heard Him say "and now number 7..." and as i questioned Him, He told me He was giving me one more "just because He wanted to". So in the end, i endured 7 strokes. Being so aroused from the wand, i came so quickly after, having firstly asked for permission.

He soothed my sore bottom with cream, before spanking me again and fingered both my ass and pussy. As He did so, He told me if i wanted to cum again, the deal was 2 strokes of the dragon cane first. i felt close to another climax but knew i couldn't stand being caned any further, so i declined His very generous offer. i held onto the pleasure of my first orgasm tightly in my mind.

i have to say it was a pretty intense time and certainly realised that i was able to take even more this time. my bottom certainly told me so!

Saturday, September 01, 2007


It's half-time at playtime (i've now been fed!) and i have been requested to share this photo with you. It was taken during the start of the fear (and what a fear it was!), right after i was slapped across the face, as He liked my expression.

Enjoy... and i'll get back on the pitch. Whilst i'm typing this, He's spanking my pussy and thighs, so i'm squirming in my seat (sorry for any errors!).

Oh and one other thing, as well as the caning i am due to get tonight without fail, i need to receive at least 1 comment to this post by 9.45pm, else i will be caned awake tomorrow... (eek!)

Instructions And Discipline

O/our chat tonight (late Fri night, as it's now very early Sat morn!) centred on how i was feeling ahead of O/our playtime and giving me the instructions below. He also gave me several scenarios of what could happen, but not necessarily will happen. The fear was building inside me.

He has given me the following instructions (so far) for the forthcoming playtime:
  1. Bring a blindfold, or something that can act as one, and some rope
  2. Bring your white lace panties... in your bag (eek!)
  3. Be at My door at 4pm sharp - within 30 seconds either way (any later and He told me i will get 4 hard and fast dragon canings instantly)
  4. Await further instructions when you arrive
  5. More instructions will be sent in the morning

Your attire will be as follows:
  • Black heels
  • Black stockings
  • Black suspender belt
  • White bra
  • Black pleated skirt
  • Red/Black Chinese style top
Having been told not to play with myself all week, as W/we talked, He let me put my finger against my clit and then inside me. After each command He gives me, i must reply "yes Gavin". Losing myself with the pleasurable feeling of touching down there again, He instructed me to push my fingers deeper inside. Wanting to feel more, i pushed them in further, before He said my name sternly, prompting me to reply and i quickly did so. He asked me to tell Him truthfully if i had pushed my fingers in before i had replied. i couldn't lie and admitted i had... not good. He was very displeased.

Him: "Stand up and take down your combats and pants" i complied. "When I give you a command, you reply "yes Gavin" - understood?"

me: "Yes Gavin"

Him: "As I am not there to give you them, you're going to discipline yourself. Firstly, I want you to give your bare right cheek 5 hard slaps and I want to hear each one. Afterwards I want you to ask Me if I am satisfied with them, OK? Now go"

i administered 5 hard slaps to my right cheek and asked Him if He was satisfied. He said He couldn't hear them very well (the phone line was a bit dicey) but somewhere in between Him originally telling me i was then going to give myself another 20 hard slaps, He increased the number to 30 and to count each one out loud, then ask Him if He was satisfied. He said if He felt that some were not good enough, He would subtract them from the 30, tell me the number He was happy with, for me to add on any additional slaps and count them out, in order to make it back up to 30.

So there i stood, naked from the waist down, counting out the slaps, my hand was burning red when i made it to 30. Asking Him if He was satisfied, He told me 28 were OK and so i counted out another 2 slaps (i think i did well!).

Him: "How do You feel now?"

me: "silly and ashamed that i didn't reply when You gave me a command"

Him: "I think this is something you should write about in your blog"

So i can say i do feel ashamed, i know i need to try much harder and this will serve as a lesson to me.

Tomorrow is here (i must get to bed now) ... O/our playtime is on it's way... i know i have do much better than this... i know His dragon cane awaits...