i think i've mentioned in previous posts, how much i love the sound and feel of chains. Not that i've had any real-life experience with any before (i'm a rope kind of pup), but i thought it was about time to add some to my toybox. i decided to wander down to my local DIY store and what an adventure it turned out to be... it might be a while before i visit again!
Well i found the 'Ropes and Chains' aisle fairly easily and there before me was an array of chains, in varying gauges and materials. It was a true feast and i could feel myself getting excited just at the sight of them. After looking at them for some time, i then realised i didn't know how long a metre was (as they are sold per metre). i thought it might help in deciding what length i'd need for... erm... hanging baskets... (well that was my story if i got asked!)
Heading off to the next aisle, i found a very helpful mature store assistant (he had white hair) who kindly showed me the length of a metre with a measure. Thanking him, i returned to my aisle and finally decided on a couple of different chains - 2 metres of each, but in 1 metre lengths. It was then that i spotted the deadly metal cutter necessary to cut the chains to their required length and the sign 'only store assistants may operate this machine' (uh oh!) and i could feel my heart was beginning to beat a little faster.
Luckily for me, there was an assistant just along the aisle who was finishing off cutting some rope for another 'customer'. He walked up to me, smiling and i indicated my selected chains. i think i made some sort of small talk, like "i think a metre is quite long, isn't it"(?!!). He kept smiling at me and i couldn't stop smiling back, whilst thinking 'i wonder what he thinks i'm buying these for!' (think...hanging baskets... oh yes!).
With the 4 lengths of chains in my hands, i thanked him and disappeared down a different aisle, becoming just another anonymous shopper. Right so on to find the padlocks... what's the use of chains without them?! i wandered around the store, trying to locate them and came to stop to look at some rather cool brightly coloured measuring tapes (no idea why as i didn't need one), to hear this voice behind me ask "are you looking for a measure?". Turning round, i saw the mature white-haired assistant standing there, and then he said "oh it's you!" (like i was his neighbour or something). Smiling, he looked down at the chains in my hands, as i said "i'm looking for padlocks now" and with this, he promptly escorted me to the right aisle! i just wanted to hide at that moment. i felt incredibly guilty, vulnerable, all sorts of emotions. It was like everyone in the store knew why i was there!
Selecting a couple of small padlocks, i decided i'd had enough of DIY for one day and went in search of the friendliest looking cashier. Finding her, i saw there was only one other woman completing her purchase. Hurriedly, i put the chains and padlocks down on the counter, with my money (in cash) ready for a speedy getaway. Well it certainly wasn't because she had to get the reference catalogue out (a huge book!) to find the right item code for pricing the chains (and they must sell about 20 different kinds!). This took another few minutes as she double-checked the style and gauge, ensuring she didn't over/under-charge me (i couldn't have cared less at this point). By this time, i had an audience of about 4 others in the queue, all watching me! The whole irony of this, is that i could have been ordered to do this by a Dom, when in fact i did it of my own accord (currently being an unowned pup). Is there such a thing as self-humiliation?!
i'm sure my face was a picture when i left the store, as i couldn't stop grinning to myself, but i got my chains! Half of them are pictured below, in my 'chained heart':
In time, i hope for them to be put to good use, but that's another post... (i said i hope...)
Now... where's my hanging baskets...